John Guido

We met in 1985, when I came to live at L’Arche Daybreak where Mel had been living for 13 years. Mel was 43, has a developmental disability and is legally blind; I was 23, a graduate of Notre Dame University and had just left the seminary. Both of us were struggling with self esteem and frustrated in living a life which we felt was worth celebrating.

I was made house leader within a month of arriving in L’Arche so I learned how to be an assistant from Mel and the other members with disabilities, Karen, Greg and Janet, as well as Mary, Sue, Beth and Joe who accompanied me/the home in various roles. With their help, I realized I had a gift for listening well to what the folks who I lived with were saying.

In those days, Mel was often angry about his days at the workshop – he wasn’t allowed to do a man’s work and move big skids around –he was legally blind and surrounded by vulnerable people so it wasn’t possible. He was also having a hard time in his relationship with his dad who had remarried a woman who didn’t want to be close to Mel. Mel’s mother had died as he was moving into Daybreak. While doing a “Jesse Tree” before Christmas, we looked at characters from Jewish scriptures who were the ancestors of Jesus. They are Mel’s ancestors too – he loved them like his own near relations. I asked him if he’d had his bar mitzvah and he told me “no, I wasn’t able to.” I knew this was a big deal.

Mel and his Dad - Bar Mitzvah

Mel sometimes focused his anger on me as I was responsible for our home. At the same time, he was a man of deep compassion who was a major support to me and my family as my younger sister died of cancer. He put faith in me at a time when I barely believed in myself. I knew that I was a support to him and helped him name some of the frustrated dreams that weighed on him and the pain which this caused him, yet I was not good at finding solutions for Mel to meet these dreams. Before I left (after a year and a half) to go home and support my sister, I made sure that the community leaders and the new house leader knew the dreams Mel had for meaningful work, a better relationship with his dad, and to become a man in his faith.

Mel Riding

Over the years, many people have lived with and supported Mel and some wonderful things have happened for him: he found his dream job at the Daily Bread food bank where he became “volunteer of the year” – not for his skill at slamming skids of canned goods into each other, but for welcoming other volunteers and bringing spirit to the place; Mel learned to ride horses which also allowed him to feel like a man and connected him to a teacher, Jennifer, who introduced her widowed mom to his recently divorced dad helping Mel to reconnect with his dad and gain a family; and Mel was connected through the family of Ellen (who is also Jewish) and some assistants to a Jewish faith community where they could be bat/bar mitzvahed thus uniting their families and the L’Arche community with this Jewish community as they became adults in their faith.

In Mel’s story, we see the power of listening deeply to his dreams and desires, being attentive to the pain in his life, reaching out to new relationships where he could rise up and shine as a man who had gifts to give as well as needs to be met. Many people supported him to achieve his dreams, and he shared his gift with many more people. He can still be a pain in the neck about some things, but he has grown in self confidence and loves his life.

In my story too, the things I discovered while living with Mel – both my gifts and my frustrations -would take years of healing, growth, and the support of many who loved me in order for me to become a man. Today, I can say that though I am still a pain in the neck about some things, I have grown in self confidence and love my life.

John and Mel

Mel and I have had some amazing connections over the years since we lived together. A lifetime high was our pilgrimage in 1999 to Krakow, Auschwitz, the federation meeting in Paray-le-Monial, the funeral of Mel’s dad and then the Holy Land. We know that we are companions on the journey. Next year, Mel will turn 70 and I will turn 50 within a month of each other. Individually and together, we have much to celebrate.

December 2011

Colette Halferty and Kim Lageer (two on the far right)

Kim and I had such an adventure in travelling to the Western Regional Pilgrimage. This was Kim’s first time on a plane and as we entered the airport she said, “Hello World” because this was a big step for her. Arriving in Vancouver we met up with my old friends from L’Arche Greater Vancouver and spent the first day in the community – prayer at Shiloah, dinner at Nazirah House and lots of visits with people. Day Two saw us tour Vancouver with friends, and so Kim and I walked around Stanley Park enjoying the mountains and ocean under grey skies. Kim and I walked so much and really took the day to experience Vancouver with its native art and natural beauty. Kim commented that “Vancouver is one big mountain after another, it’s huge.”

Friday and Saturday were full days with the pilgrimage gathering – lots of songs, skits and laughter. Hazel Bradley shared stories that helped us to reflect on the individual paths we all take in L’Arche which weave together to make a scared story. The theme was pilgrims together, each of us on a journey where we are met, welcomed and celebrated in L’Arche for who we are and in the place we are at. Kim enthusiastically joined in with the songs and the skits as she felt comfortable with her new friends. Kim especially enjoyed the singing – she talked about how the songs were the same ones that we sing in our community. On Saturday we walked in silence on pilgrimage to a local park where we each laid our stones that were symbols of the prayers we carried in our hearts. When we returned from this pilgrimage walk, we encountered each other through the washing of the feet – a time for us to humbly give and receive of one another in service.

Long days and short sleeps resulted in both Kim and I being exhausted at the end of the trip. However, our journey home was filled with gratitude and joy as we shared about all the happenings and people we met on this journey across Canada. This was truly a gift for both of us.

For more photos, visit our facebook page.

Robert Hajjar – keynote speaker at the L’Arche Ontario Regional Gathering from L'Arche Ontario on Vimeo.

Click on the thumbnails to visit the Marketplace artwork

During the closing prayer at our Regional Gathering, members of Sol Express (L’Arche Toronto) performed their version of The Beatitudes.
Toronto, June 10, 2011

Sol Express, developed the original concept and more recently created an equally powerful and poignant video of members from L’Arche Toronto and Sol Express. You can see that video by clicking here.

I AM… I Love from L'Arche Canada-Communications on Vimeo.

Brian and Jonathan from Cape Breton with Chris (Daybreak), at the L'Arche Ontario Regional Gathering

Ellen Anderson is a Japanese Canadian, born in 1943, in an internment camp in the interior of B.C. Even as a child she was acutely aware of the boundaries of both race and gender. Her journey into Universal Access started when she found herself the mother of a disabled son, Gabe. He was born in 1970 with Cerebral Palsy and developmental disabilities.

Ellen’s entry into community issues began when the principal of the local school asked her to help create a non-profit day care. Ellen became aware of the needs of working mothers to have safe, affordable daycare. Then one summer a serial rapist started to attack women in her neighbourhood. She helped create a women’s safety organization to educate and address women’s safety issues. Then, she began her work on people with disabilities in order to help her son, Gabe and others like him who cannot speak or advocate for themselves.

Ellen and Gabe’s journey of art and “Universal Accessibility” began 22 years ago when she searched for models of universal access to the arts for people with disabilities. Creative Spirit Art Centre was established in Toronto; to fill a gap in services to people like Gabe. Creative Spirit is dedicated to the integration of adult artists with disabilities into the mainstream arts community. For the last 19 years Ellen and the volunteers of Creative Spirit Art Centre have continued to facilitate the making, exhibition and sales of art by people with both visible and invisible health labels. Creative Spirit is wonderful example of the use of Universal Access as a way of creating a vital creative community.

Jacquie Boughner is a professional artist who has been involved with L’Arche almost 20 years as a friend and board member of L’Arche Daybreak, and L’Arche Ontario. As a Daybreak Pastoral Team member, her homilies are often inspired by core member art and vocation and in 2011 curated the 2011 L’Arche Ontario Art Show at the Lt. Governor’s suite Queens Park featuring 57 artists from nine communities.

She studied at Mount Allison University (BFA) and the British Academy in Rome and  her professional background includes curating art shows for public and private galleries, Education director for McLaughlin Art Gallery Oshawa, Curator of Open Studio Print Studio, art consultant for the Ontario Arts Council and on the executive of the Print and Drawing Council of Canada. Awards include Ontario Arts Council photography and arts grants, and Artist in the School grants.

Jennifer is a visual artist and psychotherapist who uses art making and creativity as a means to explore and understand issues of identity and the personal symbolic world within. Since 2003 she has been creating and delivering arts programs in the community with the Learning and Living Through the Arts programs. Some of the organizations she has worked with include the Fred Victor Centre, Sheena’s Place, the Baycrest Centre, New Outlook and L’Arche. She is passionate about helping people to connect with their creativity and believes that the process of art making is inherently healing.

Jennifer received a diploma from the Ontario College of Art where she developed expertise in printmaking, painting and multimedia sculpture. She received a Bachelor of Science from the University of Toronto and went on to complete a Masters Degree in Counselling Psychology from Norwich University in Vermont. In conjunction with her arts facilitation work she runs a private psychotherapy practice in Toronto.

Syrus Marcus Ware is a visual artist, community activist, youth-advocate and educator. He is the Program Coordinator of the Teens Behind the Scenes program in the Education Division of the Art Gallery of Ontario.

As a visual artist, Syrus has been producing visual art in Toronto and Vancouver for the past 12 years. He works within the mediums of painting, installation and performance art to respond to social and civic engagement and to suggest new possibilities for the world in which he lives.

Syrus has a specialist degree in Art History, with a focus in Medieval Art from the University of Toronto and an Honours B.A. in Visual Studies. He is a currently an MA candidate in Sociology and Equity Studies at University of Toronto.

Amanda (Mandy) Wilson is a young artist who lives in Hamilton with her family. She has been a member of the L’Arche Hamilton Day program for just over 7 years.

One of Mandy’s many artistic contributions to the community is her one- of-a –kind birthday cards. Her style is very colourful as she moves between abstract and more representational approaches.

Her work is represented in the 2011 L’Arche Ontario Queens Park art show.

Video tour of the Craft Studio

• Tying Your Own Shoes, an animated documentary by Shira Avni, provides a forum for artists who have Down syndrome to portray themselves as they wish to be seen. Tying Your Own Shoes – Trailer
• Tamir, an organization in Ottawa which provides a Jewish residential setting for people with developmental disabilities, put on a musical, in celebration of their 25th anniversary. This documentary “Dreamcoat” follows their triumphant production.